


Turning Tables

by AngelicSentinel



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Age Difference, And Leave Me Alone, Bumped the Rating to be Safe, Double Entendre, F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Innuendo, Kaito Needs Brain Bleach, Mostly Humorous, No Smut, Rare Pairings, Rated M for the Implication that Two Consenting Adults Had Sex, Suggestive Themes, Take Your Witch Hunt Somewhere Else, The Relationship Is Clearly Labelled, Trolling, What Was I Thinking?, help him, help me, not actually explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 16:23:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12039699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelicSentinel/pseuds/AngelicSentinel
Summary: So help him, Saguru's kind of enjoying Kuroba's breakdown. Revenge for all those times at heists and those pranks in high school. Serves him right.





	Turning Tables

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Rare Pair Radio prompt "Stacy's Mom" (Fountains of Wayne)

Saguru wakes up relaxed and sated in the way only a marathon “fun” session makes him feel. The room is dark, but the sheets smell nice, the bed is comfortable, and his partner is still lying next to him. Her hair is spread across his shoulder, and one of his hands is spanning her hip. He wraps his arms more tightly around her, burying his nose against her neck.

She smells nice too. Very nice.

It doesn't take long for her warmth and the dark to lull him back to sleep.

-

The next time he wakes, the light is blinding and he has a faint headache. He groans, flops over, puts an arm over his eyes.

“So you're awake,” A voice says, amused.

“Can you turn off the light?” Saguru groans.

“Sorry love, no can do. That's the sun,” the voice is sweet and sultry. Saguru likes the sound it. It's easy on his ears.

Saguru groans again, rolls over, forces one eye open against the sun so he can see her. He assesses her, considering. She's a little older than he thought, but she's gorgeous, fine lines and crow's feet actually enhancing her beauty. She's wearing nothing but a sheet pulled to her full breasts.

“You were an animal last night,” she says. “I haven't had so much fun in a long time.”

“Glad to be of service,” Saguru murmurs. He had had a lot of fun.

“Oh, you were definitely of service,” she says. “To be able to keep up with me. Handsome, too.” She trails a red painted fingernail down his sternum to where the blanket pools at his waist, which stirs his interest. He doesn't remember exactly how he got here, but he's not complaining. “Are you up for another round?” she asks, smirking. Saguru gets a little déjà vu. He's seen that smirk before, but before he can analyze where, she's pressing up against him and kissing him. He climbs on top, pushing her down to the bed.

Neither one of them hear the door open, but they do hear the clatter-crash sound of something glass falling to the floor and shattering.

A familiar voice rings out, tone filled with annoyance. “Really? Really, Mom, again? How many times do I have to ask you to at least _warn_ me before bringing someone home, geez. It's only polite.”

“Mum?” Saguru says, half-turning and sliding off her. And that's Kuroba Kaito standing at the door, face turning an inhuman shade of red.

Huh. 

“H-Ha-Hakuba?!” he screeches. “OH. MY. GOD. OH MY GOD MOM **_WHY_**?”

“So this is the detective you're always going on about, Kaito?” Kuroba's mother says, amused. “You should have brought him home sooner. I _loved_ getting to know him... _intimately._ ”

“B-brought him home sooner?” Kuroba's voice breaks at the end.

“Pleased to meet you, Hakuba-chan,” Kuroba's mother says, trailing a hand along his side. “I'm Kuroba Chikage.”

“Kuroba-san,” Saguru murmurs. “It's very nice to meet you, too.” So help him, he's kind of enjoying Kuroba's breakdown. Revenge for all those times at heists and those pranks in high school. Serves him right.

“Oh, you must call me Chikage,” she says. “A virile, strong man like you. We _are_ very familiar with each other now.”

“Then you must call me Saguru.”

“But I think 'horse’ suits you better,” Chikage says with a wink, her eyes flickering down meaningfully.

Saguru feels his face warm and his body stir from the compliment. “Then by all means.”

“I am not hearing this, I am NOT hearing this,” Kuroba says, muttering it to himself over and over again.

“Such a fine young stallion,” Chikage says, running her hands down his back, scratching lightly, sending tingles to the base of Saguru's spine. “So much energy and stamina. I wouldn't mind another ride.”

Kuroba chokes.

“What do you think, Kaito?” She pets Saguru's hair, running her hand down the side of his face. “Would he make a good daddy, Kaito? Daddy Hakuba? It's still not too late for siblings.”

Kuroba's face drains of all color and he lets out a whimper, murmuring something about bleach. Then he narrows his eyes, pointing his finger at Saguru saying, “You vile motherfucker!”

Saguru can't help it: he snorts. “Well, you're not _wrong_ , per se. You know, Kuroba, perhaps you shouldn't have made so many ‘your mom’ jokes at me in high school. My, how the tables have turned.”

Kuroba opens his mouth and closes it several times.

“You only have yourself to blame,” Saguru says, enjoying having the upper hand for once.

“This isn't finished!” Kuroba says.

Saguru looks pointedly down at his lap and smiles his most hedonistic. “No, it's not.”

Kuroba sputters, then leaves the room, slamming the door so hard that the windows rattle.

Saguru turns back to Chikage and says in the most serious voice he can muster, “You are a terrible, terrible person, and I love you for it.”

She grins, showing a lot of teeth. “Oh, don't I know it. But to be fair, when we met at that bar, I didn't know you were Kaito's friend.”

“Then what was all that about?” Saguru wonders.

She pats him on the arm. “It's good for him. He’ll get over it in a couple of weeks. And besides, I had a lot of fun and that was the important part.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You seemed like you enjoyed it too.”

“Just a little,” Saguru admits.

“You're going to the same university?”

“Mhmm,” Saguru says.

The conversation stalls for a moment.

“Thanks for indulging an old woman.”

“You're hardly old,” Saguru demurs. “Besides, I find older women to be a little more... experienced and more to my tastes.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Indeed. I'm still up for another round if you are.”

“Mmm, but you're not quite up yet.”

“I'm getting there,” Saguru says, wrapping an arm around her.

"You flatter me,” Chikage says.

“A lady such as yourself deserves to be flattered.”

“Such a gentleman.”

There's the sound of things slamming and being knocked around in the distance.

Chikage eyes him speculatively. “Think if we are loud enough we can get him to leave the house?”

“I think we can try,” Saguru says, and Chikage pulls him in for a kiss.


End file.
